525,600 Minutes

This has not been a good year for me. In February, my parents got divorced. In March, I met a guy who I thought was my soul mate only to find out that he was not and that he was just using me. It hurt a lot and I could not really talk about it. In April, Nico left. It was terrible. We all miss him a lot. In May, I started dating Allison. We were bad for each other. Awful for each other actually but I loved her. I was addicted to the love she gave me. It kept me high on life. It made me feel unstoppable when really, she was what was holding me back. In July she cut me out of her life and then in September she came back. I was so happy. I had so many prospects to do things right this time. I should have known that a zebra won't ever change it's stripes. She cut me out again after she gave me another taste. I found someone in November though that went through exactly what I had dealt with for what seemed like eternity. He understands my pain and we are getting through it together. It hurts a lot sometimes still but I am slowly erasing her from my memory and my life. I don't speak to her or anyone that knows her well. I don't deal with the bs anymore. If she tried to come back at this point, I would have the strength to turn her away. I would have the willpower to show her the finger and tell her that every time she comes around, I get hurt and that I have too much at risk now to try to even be friends with her. Honestly I think there will always be a part of me that will love her and I hate that about myself. I hate that I could love someone who hurt me so much. I just want to move on and block the memories. With the love, support and help from the people that I am close to, the pain is dulled quite a bit. I don't think it will ever really be gone though. So yeah. 2016 has not been a good year for me. It has been the hardest year of my life. I never ever want to deal with anything like this year again. Blow after blow, I am at my lowest.