"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."
My hands shake as I type the harsh words on the bright computer screen in the dark computer room. I look down at my 8 month pregnant belly and I feel the tears well up in my eyes again. She's gone. We have lost her. My tears fall down my cheeks as I look hatefully at the monitor. I stand up and pace for a minute, trying to pull my thoughts together. I suppose I'm making a lot of noise because my husband stumbles in from our bedroom.
"What're you doing, Sally?" he asks me. I have no words. I can't explain why I decided to do this in the first place. I just stand there and cry. He comes over and holds me. I fall into him and just collapse. I let all of my walls down and I let him take over. I feel his chest start shaking and I know he's crying now too.
"Sally, what were you writing?"
I just shake my head and pull away from him. He walks over and reads my ad. I watch him as his head falls and he begins to sob. He suddenly falters and stares at the screen. He hits the backspace and closes Craigslist. He turns around and looks at me.
"C'mon. Let's go to bed honey," he tells me. I nod and follow him glumly to bed. He holds me until I fall into a deep sleep. A sleep I won't wake from in the morning. He doesn't know that. He won't know that until he wakes and I am gone. The only thing that he will never realize is that the ad was my suicide note.
Friday, October 14, 2016
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Creepy story
"You hear your mom calling you into the kitchen. As you are heading down the stairs you hear a whisper from the closet saying “Don’t go down there honey, I heard it too.”
I step away from the closet in sudden fear. I stand, frozen in the middle of my room. I don't know whether to listen to the voice in my closet or the voice in the kitchen. I can't figure out which one is real. I squint my eyes and try to think. I decide to try to talk to the closet voice.
"Mom?"
"Yes, baby it's me."
"If it is you then why are you hiding in my closet instead of trying to protect me from the other one?"
Silence.
"Mom?" I ask again.
"I'm so sorry honey."
"For what mom?"
"To keep you safe. I had to go through torture and I didn't want you to see me like this."
My mother steps out of the closet and she is tall and thin. Her fingers are like spider legs and her smile is like that of a poorly carved Jack-o-lantern.
"I'm just kidding darling. She's down there, healthy and actually calling you down," she laughs. "Better see what she wants," she says as her smile broadens and she flicks out her long serrated fingernail. I stand frozen trying to scream. "Well, what are you waiting for? Run."
I step away from the closet in sudden fear. I stand, frozen in the middle of my room. I don't know whether to listen to the voice in my closet or the voice in the kitchen. I can't figure out which one is real. I squint my eyes and try to think. I decide to try to talk to the closet voice.
"Mom?"
"Yes, baby it's me."
"If it is you then why are you hiding in my closet instead of trying to protect me from the other one?"
Silence.
"Mom?" I ask again.
"I'm so sorry honey."
"For what mom?"
"To keep you safe. I had to go through torture and I didn't want you to see me like this."
My mother steps out of the closet and she is tall and thin. Her fingers are like spider legs and her smile is like that of a poorly carved Jack-o-lantern.
"I'm just kidding darling. She's down there, healthy and actually calling you down," she laughs. "Better see what she wants," she says as her smile broadens and she flicks out her long serrated fingernail. I stand frozen trying to scream. "Well, what are you waiting for? Run."
The answers are in the back
So if I could have all the answers in the world I'd just want to know what the end of the world is like. Then I would put the book down and never read it again. I would never want to see the rest of my life. Life is a surprise and it should always be a surprise. I guess the only thing I may want to know is if I ever get over depression and anxiety. It is horrible. I often times think it is worse than if I were to just die. I dread panic attacks. I can't take them sometimes. My mind just breaks and I have to take a couple of hours and reset because I don't know what else to do. So anyway sorry about that little tangent but yeah I think I would just see how the world ends and if my anxiety ever goes away.
Back to the future
I think the future will be governed by robots. No emotions, humans are slaves. The machines have taken over and developed minds of their own. The will not feel. They will not emote. They follow the rules exactly and they don't dare try to help humans. Humans try to take back their world but they fail miserably. The machines control it forever. It started with the self driving cars, fingerprint recognition in cell phones, and so on. They stole our identities and then enslaved us, stripping away the only thing we had left to define us. Our names.
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